I said I was going to post on Friday so here I am and yes I do want a cookie or a medal (and I’ll hang it right by the one I didn’t get for giving birth without an epidural).
The first active month of the FP started on the 25th, but prior to that I had still been making some changes. Changes that came really easily and naturally by the way… and I hadn’t told you about ahead of time… and I do wonder if that is related.
Since December 31, 2011 none of the following have passed my lips (knowingly):
Coffee/any caffeinated beverage really…
Anything that came through the window of my car
I’ve been having a green smoothie (banana, another piece of fruit, sm persian cucumber, T of flax seed, 2c water, and soft pack the rest of the blender with spinach) for breakfast almost daily, really limited the snacking, and have eaten my weight in Indian food.
I have also done 10 pushups a day which may not sound like much but I couldn’t do one “real” pushup when I started and now I can get to 5 before putting a knee down for a second.
The good: it’s been remarkably easy. I have had moments, of wanting to hit the drive through and I ate a lot of Daiya quesadillas the first week to curb the cheese cravings… but not acting on the drive through (it just occurred to me that it’s really drive-thru but I’m not wanting to go back and change it) has been relatively simple.
The bad: I replaced some bad habits (that caused me significant harm) with new habits (that are a heck of a lot less harmful but still not helpful). For example, I would make a night of eating a wheel of goat Brie and a box of pita crackers from Trader Joe’s and my stomach would be no worse for the wear. Or I’d order extra naan and eat as much of that in a sitting as I did lentils and veggies… I managed to convince myself that the dark chocolate covered almonds with turbinado sugar and sea salt from trader joes were health food.
These new not-as-bad habits were even scarier than the old ones… because there were no consequences. I wasn’t shitting my guts out the next day and my weight was staying the same. They were making being self destructive easier than ever. Yikes.
AND… probably most impactful of all… I didn’t feel any better. The first time I cut out corn/dairy/and meat I felt like what a “normal” person might feel like. Totally carefree, able to respond to the world without anxiety, just really, really good. Not so much this time.
So I had a choice to make and I chose to walk away from them.
I’m cutting out more animal products (other animal’s cheeses, butter, and eggs), white flour, and white sugar. After a few days of 80% success (the leftover cheeses and chocolates seem to be making their way out the house via my digestive tract) at this my skinny jeans fit and 5 lbs are suddenly gone.
now I just need to pick some more intense physical activity to work into my routine… Talk about scary.
see y’all on Monday.