Getting Divorced Gracefully

I might be a little off topic today (is there really “on-topic” around here?), but this idea is knocking really loudly on the door inside my head that is between the inside and outside so I’m opening the door so it will STOP and get out!

When I first realized that my marriage was ending I googled “getting divorced gracefully”  Well, actually… first I googled “what to do if your husband says he doesn’t love you anymore.”  The answer to that question, by the way is: There is nothing you can do; be your best self and that will either draw him to you or, if it doesn’t, at least you will be your best self.  So, that’s what I’ve been doing… from the very first day and while I stopped hoping it would draw him to me long, long ago I’ve been clinging pretty tightly to what it means to be my best self.

Something I do that helps me be my best self is write… and the second part of that something is sharing those writings (hence the blog).  I have been itching to blog about how to get divorced gracefully.  Early on I was pretty confident that I could (get divorced gracefully) and that I would blog about it along the way and have some kind of helpful guide by the end.  I was particularly driven to this goal by finding another woman’s blog on the same topic that was full of posts with songs that helped her make it through the day and giving thanks to God (I assume the Judeo Christian one…) and I couldn’t relate to any of that (I’m not saying she isn’t a lovely woman…  She has 401 more Facebook “Likers” than this blog does, so she’s doing something right!).  Assuming there were other people who couldn’t relate I thought I might be able to fill a gap.

So, it’s been on my mind for a while and I’ve done some writing (but not sharing) and even more thinking and at one point I got here:

“How to get Divorced Gracefully”
You can’t.  Stop trying.  Go do something else.

and then I got past that lovely space and did more thinking and then this morning I got here:

“How to get Divorced Gracefully”
Don’t blog about it.

Yep, simple as that.  I still aim to get divorced gracefully.  I still intend to act with dignity and grace.  I still intend to be honest, straightforward, and clear intentioned… and even though I would blog with all of those same values in mind I don’t think it would go over well.  So, I’m not going to.

But I am writing it all down, and maybe someday I will have a very entertaining book to share with you.

One thought on “Getting Divorced Gracefully

  1. LELowe

    Incredibly insightful, my little bossypants. I marvel at your evolved self daily (or at least MWF now). Can’t wait for the Kindle version. xox

    Reply

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