Tonight there is much in front of me and to avoid overwhelm I’m supposed to do what’s in front of me… so despite having over 70 new “likers” on Facebook, I’m taking the night off from blogging!
Let’s see how much I write on my night off… just one thing I want to touch on.
So, I know I’ve mentioned before that this opportunity with 38 is allowing me to work through the same shit that is bound to come up in any relationship I have, but privately, within the confines of my own head and home. It’s a new and interesting way of dealing with the stuff that comes up (basically a way that doesn’t involve scaring off the mate–who should probably be able to deal with this if they want to be with me anyway, but that’s a different blog post)… and boy has stuff come up! I mean, we were hitting the 6 month mark, so the raging hormones had started to slow and the honeymoon was coming to an end (not in a bad way)… and I was going to start to settle into some of my “stuff” anyway.
First up came my abandonment stuff, and my “if i were perfect i would be loved” and/or “i am not lovable enough or she wouldn’t have left” and I got through that. Then I was doing really well for a while… until all of a sudden–BAM! I’m getting my “I need to be needed” and “wait, what? you can be happy without me? that’s scary!” stuff now. Woah. I knew that stuff was in there, but I’ve never seen it before like this.
I guess something really is happening.
Looking forward to getting through this stuff. It’s ugly!
That wasn’t as much as I thought I might right. Awesome. Night off here I come!
Really, I’m to finish making a chocolate chip cookie cake with a thor mask and cape on it for spiderman’s birthday tomorrow…