Welcome back! Actually, I don’t know that you went anywhere… I went away for a week, and I’m back. Hopefully you just sat here patiently waiting for me–that’s what I like to imagine happened. So when I say “Welcome Back” I imagine that it’s really all of you saying it in unison in a sing-song kind of voice… and it’s lovely… thank you for the warm welcome… you’re too kind.
For those who are wondering, according to the EI assessment, I am NOT as emotionally intelligent as I
thought I was still think I am. Either that, or I was way too humble when I answered the questions in the assessment. Some may describe it as a confidence issue but I’m going to stick with humble for today because I’m already too exhausted from emotional cliff diving to go spelunking into another cavern of self discovery today.
|this adorable ridiculousness by “Claire,”
the self proclaimed “Queen of Dorks”
features characters from a show called “Adventure Time”
which I’ve never seen, but makes me very happy.
and very hungry.
*ahem* Shall we get on with it?
The moon has completed another cycle and as a result (yes, that’s what I’m saying. These blog themes are a direct response to the phases of the moon. It’s a fact.) it’s another “month” on the blog! This “month’s” theme is: No Maps Allowed (experimenting with adventure).
I think it’s worth mentioning, it being September and all, that after 8 months of focusing intently on discovering my best self and finding fulfillment in my life that I’m a lot different today than when I started this experiment. You may recall early on that I was having trouble getting started because I wanted to do everything all at once… and it was challenging for me to focus on one thing at a time. Well, I did… and for the first few months I gave a lot of attention to parts of myself like my: physical body, my inner artist, my spirit, my intellectual, et cetera. And with all of that best self development I did start just doing some other things naturally; which took a little bit of the steam out of the FULLfillment Project challenges.
For example, last month didn’t feel particularly profound (it was about feeling at “home”) because in my practical life, the past 6 months had been about moving my literal home from a place that represented my past to a place I had always longed to live and instantly felt like I belonged in. The blog entries were really just journaling (don’t get me wrong, I know we both love that…) and I didn’t come out of it with a different attitude towards home than I had before. The previous month about money was helpful and fun, but, again, I had just made some major lifestyle changes that freed up hundreds of dollars each month–I’m not rolling in it by any means, but I’m doing fine and I have a new attitude towards money that didn’t come from experimenting with it on the blog, it came from having to adjust in an instant when BFO (and his income) left and acquiring some new skills for survival’s sake.
When I added “Adventure Time!” to the agenda for the blog way back when it was because “adventure” was something that I dreaded. It sounded like “scary time” to me, and I don’t seek thrills in general. It’s thrilling enough inside my head as it is. BUT… I’ve loosened up a lot. I’ve let go a lot. I am more open. I am more willing. I am… dare I say… more adventurous. If something sounds interesting and scary, interesting wins. As soon as I realize that fear is the only thing stopping me from doing something I choose to feel the fear and do it anyway, and most of the time I have a good time doing it (and then blather on about how easy it ended up being annoying even myself).
So going into adventure month I’m not feeling like I need to challenge myself to try new things as much as I might have at the beginning of this year. I’m still going to have some of that in here to keep up the momentum, but really I think this “month” is about embracing the adventure of being myself; of being completely authentic.
Here’s my intention for the month:
- Get used to feeling uncomfortable. Embrace the ickiness that comes with change, challenge, and the unknown. Leap right into it–eyes. wide. open.
Here’s how I intend to get there:
- I am going to choose how I spend my time based on what I want to do first (not who I want to spend time with, or what they want to do that I would feel content doing as well, but prioritizing the way I want to spend my time–100%–and fitting everyone and everything else in after that <--eek, scary business!)
- I am going to do some things on the “I’ve always wanted to” list (I don’t have a list… I’ve always wanted to make one… sounds like Wednesday’s post is already written, eh?)
- I am going to go GPS free. I’m turning the one off in my car. I’m keeping the maps app on my iPhone closed. If I need to go somewhere I will figure out how to get there ahead of time… or figure it out as I go. Hell, I may even ask strangers for directions (I am only doing this to piss myself off… to practice some of my new Emotional Intelligence/Self Management homework)