hi, i’m back(ish)… really, i’m writing this on the fly out of an obligation. i really “should” have returned on Monday, but I rationalized that a whole week off really took me through yesterday. Today, however, if I don’t post, I may never do so again and that would be a serious loss (for all of us, right?) so here i am (for articulate-ness or worse).
so much and so little has happened in the last week and i’m pretty awash in gratitude for all of it. taking time to take care of myself was an absolutely needed measure and now the real story is going to be about maintaining more consistently.
|when they say “check” candy
they really mean “sort” it, right?
a little story before i abandon this project and get to my self care this evening…
when i arrived at spiderman’s afterschool club this afternoon i expected to find him running around, screaming and playing with all of the other batman guised kidlets at the rec center halloween carnival. after a few rounds of search through the games, the bounce house, and the snack stands i hadn’t spotted him yet.
then, sitting at a table with a bunch of adults, grimacing, with his earmuffs on (i bought them for him because part of my theory of what’s going on with him is that he’s sensorially overloaded–particularly from a lot of noise), i saw him. and instead of being concerned about his comfort or bothered that he wasn’t joining in I was overwhelmed with admiration and pride. the kid took care of himself!
he’s new to the program, no one but him and i know about the earmuffs, and he had to take it upon himself to find them, put them on, and choose to sit the carnival out.
then it hit me… for the past 50 days of school i have been trying to help him fit in when what i should have been doing is giving him ways to feel good about being himself. i don’t know what did it (probably some brilliant parenting i employed)… but i think he’s getting the message that it’s okay to be him even if the environments he’s in right now aren’t conducive to being so. super impressed by this kid–who is his mother anyway? someone should high-five her.
In closing… on a separate but related note… Spiderman had a great day at school yesterday and in response to an email I sent his teacher asking what, if anything, was different (about the environment or strategies employed with him) I got this:
Buenas noches Sra. Kate,
We are very proud of Spiderman. After fifty days in school, Spiderman showed today, most of the day, that he can follow grade level classroom rules and proper and respectful social norms. Great job Spiderman!
Really? Does “fuck you” feel like an appropriate response to anyone else but me?