Lately… when I need to have a bowel movement, if I don’t go right away I end up not being able to go for days. There’s this short window of time when the urge is present and it’s as if when that window closes the BM retreats and needs lots of reassurance to be coaxed out again. This is way too much information, even for this blog… but it has me wondering how else this shows up in my life.
|I found this post it note on a window in a bathroom…|
I mentioned on Wednesday that I was suffering from the post-crisis crisis… You know, that thing where there is no crisis so one (or more) is manufactured for context and comfort? I had insight today that besides crisis being a place where I can shine for the simple act of rising above I also realized that crisis is so fulfilling because I believe that crisis is where there is opportunity for growth (hmmm… I should have designed a “crisis” month to be part of the FULLfillment project! I could have been the clear winner!)
Which leaves me with a question: In regular, neutral, (dare I say…) happy, (or…) peaceful day to day life where is the growth? Where are the lessons?
At first I don’t believe there are any but… Well, here’s one: Learn that you can grow in regular, neutral, (yes) happy, (and yes) peaceful life… crisis is not required for growth and learning. (<--that's a lesson. next comes finding the other ones... I'm sure they'll start filing in now that the door has been opened to them). Here’s another (circling back to the BM reference now…), and it’s definitely one that is too quiet to have come up and been heard in the midst of crisis… if I don’t act when inspiration strikes, I don’t act at all. And inspiration is fleeting. Actually, I’m not sure this is a lesson yet because I still have a lot of questions… will inspiration have a longer half-life (meaning, will it stick around in my blood stream longer) if I’m acting on it or will it fade just as quickly as it does when I ignore it (let’s just guess that it will probably last longer… geez… what a question!)? Actually, I think that was my only question… but it leads to another. So, why don’t I act on inspiration? Time (lack of)? Energy (lack of)? Laziness (abundance of)? Fear? Yup. I’ve noticed lately that I’m not getting as inspired. I’m not being struck by things and feeling tingly all over… and in the rare moments that I am I am finding that it dissipates before I even have a chance to get home and act on it. I could inquire about why that is but really it’s obvious. I’ve been rejecting inspiration… for YEARS! and it’s tired… it’s not going to keep coming back forever. It’s still here and it chimes in occasionally, but it’s small and weak and tired and is going to need some attention or else it’s either going to leave or wither and die (which is another way of leaving…) I wrote “be open to inspiration” on my bathroom mirror (in dry erase marker… you should try it, it’s fun) several weeks ago, and that was a nice start. I think it’s time to add “and then act on it” yep… it is. be right back…