I went to bed last night without pooping. I start with this because the matter consumed much of my day.
In my morning meditation, whilst attempting to tune in to and listen to my heart, this is what I heard.
What? My heart speaks in Afroman lyrics? Amazing.
Sugar HAS been my drug of choice so I guess it’s apropos. I recently recognized it more specifically as a performance enhancing drug. Need to get the creative juices flowing? Why not a milkshake (dairy free, of course)! Have a big project to work on today? A few packages of mini donettes should do the trick! If I’ve been high all this time… then I suppose I’m glad to be off the stuff before it gets really bad like it did for Afroman. By the way, apparently he has rerecorded a “positive remix.” I haven’t listened to it. Maybe you will and you’ll tell me how it is.
I spent most of my morning feeling generally joyful and content. I think I even remember feeling grateful for the journey I was on. Then I tried to go to the bathroom again with no substantial results. Very dissatisfying.
I went home (after buying a Powerball ticket) to work from the comfort of my bed. And then came the cranky. Not for any reason, not without gratitude. Just crank. The kind that comes when colonies of systemic yeast die off and try to convince you you’re dying in a last ditch effort to save their own lives. Anger. At everyone and everything.
But I could see myself, which always makes the experience interesting. Having a feeling while noticing that I’m having the feeling is much preferred (at least for the “not getting needs met” emotions) to being immersed in the feeling without distance. And from way up high looking down on myself and my anger, I heard this:
Apparently on day 2, the messages I need will come in song.
Yes, I did poop. And for about an hour I delighted in the feeling of an empty bowel. And then my digestive tract kept plugging along and now I’m back where I started. Come on “Smooth Move” work your magic!
What I ate today:
- Green Juice (kale, collards, lemon, ginger)
- Over medium eggs with broccoli and sautéed kale
- Gigantic green salad (baby spinach and TJs Cruciferous Crunch) topped with tuna (Wild Planet), raw pepitas, and avocado
- Apple with almond butter
- Baked rockfish with lemon, salt, pepper, & spiralized zucchini over green salad