One Spirit Medicine – Day 14 (two weeks!)

Girl Scout cookie season is hard.

For the most part I have been surprisingly satisfied eating this way… and then I worked a Saturday and it all feel apart.  Or maybe it was just timing: stage 1-physical detox, stage 2-emotional detox, stage 3-stare old habits in the face without other distractions and attempt reprogram the neural pathways that are responsible for them.

It’s probably both.

I worked on Saturday.  Up at 5:30 and out the door by 6:30.  Home around 3:30… earlier than expected. And it was a great day.  I delivered three workshops (two on inclusion and one on mindfulness) to over 150 youth development leaders.  I worked with a strong team to put on a smoothly run event that gave over 300 people an opportunity to develop themselves.  It was great!  It was also really loud in the giant room (not an environment I thrive in) and it was Saturday so instead of being in my robe and slippers on the couch I was up, wearing a bra, and talking to people I don’t live with.

Without sugar my introversion is confirmed.  I NEED alone time.  I NEED to recharge and refresh by being with myself, in quiet doing things that I enjoy.  Midday today that became abundantly clear because:

  1. All I wanted for lunch was cheese
  2. When dropping The Boy off at a birthday party where there were people I actually love, I was unbelievably cranky
  3. When I got back out to my car I immediately started singing made up songs…  I sing when I’m happy
  4. When my family got back home later in the afternoon I felt compelled to run away and hide.

So much of my alone time used to be about eating.  Either bingeing or indulging in something obviously bad for me… OR just being alone so I could eat something reasonably good for me in quiet and private.  What I didn’t realize until today is that I didn’t actually need the eating part to get my needs met.  I just needed the quiet.

I even tried eating the cheese.  And I still didn’t feel better.

NOT the answer to all my problems...

NOT the answer to all my problems…

Totally would have been if we'd had some (I kid. Sorta...)

Totally would have been if we’d had some (I kid. Sorta…)

Quiet it is.  Off to bed!

Stories about funny foodies to come (like the time I thought someone was offering me cake when really they were just trying to help me parallel park, or the other time when I had a panic attack about a burrito).

—–

What I ate today:

  1. Green juice (kale, cucumber, cabbage, celery, lemon)
  2. 2 over medium eggs, smoked salmon, goat cheese, & green salad
  3. Green salad with garbanzo beans and pecans
  4. 1 1/4 wedges of goat brie
  5. The edges of a tray of grain free crackers I made with almond flour

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